Aight, so I was in ATL a couple of weeks ago for 2 long dreaded WEEKS (horror music plays!) lol.
All was cool for the most part except I occasionally go off into my "Critical Thinking" mode that sort depresses me for moments at a time.
Anyway - I was laying across my bed fucking with this itouch that I just purchased before I left home and I was gonna put games on it cuz the joint shifts and shit when I turn it and all that fun innovative stuff :-D.
I got prompted to sign in with my username (Markdef) and password (noneyabitness lol), then I saw my itunes account had $50 in it!!!
I was syce like shit!!!
So I'm on this whole "purchase cd's" kick, don't bootleg or download illegally although I don't even know what that MEANS to download illegally lmao.
Im browsing through artist such as TI and Young Jeezy who just released albums but I couldnt press "purchase".
They were only $9.99 but I just KNEW that I wasn't gonna listen to their music and take anything from it ya know?
When I was younger, I was real into artist because I wanted to know how to be myself and be a star like they were in my eyes.
Now tho, due to life experiences and gained testosterone, them days of taking from others and adding it to myself is GYONE!
So, it was actually difficult clicking purchase on the itunes thing.
I didn't purchase nothing but the movie "21" and "Wrong Turn 2".
Now, me being the "Critical Thinker" that I am lead me to believe Im a "hater" or "jealous" of these artist.
Maybe because they are established already, have fans, and money.
or maybe because their music is better than mine, idk.
So now Im tripping like "damn, wtf is the issue with me joe?"
Fast-forward to now, yesterday I was rearranging my studio and my entire room for that matter when I realized that all the good music is free.
I actually got an email to my phone from D. Omen saying "Download G*Two new mixtape" that sparked this "Critical Thinker" moment with myself.
I paused for a sec, got online and went to my gmail account.
I sent D. Omen an aim thing and was like "send me ya mixtape..."
Indeed he did, and I went on an all-out MANHUNT for the free music thats worth the $9.99 I would've paid for the TI joint or Jeezy.
Nando, D. Omen, Lyriciss, G*Two, Young Doc, X.O., Ra The MC - I put these guys/gals mixtapes on my itouch and let it blast while I resumed cleaning my room/studio.
I was all excited in the inside (no homo) but it was refreshing feeling!
I haven't felt this way since..................uhm.............shit, I was a kid admiring the artists on tv like I said earlier.
It was all making sense now!
These people do music because they LoVe it and/or have fun doing it!
I miss that feeling and sometimes I have to revert to my younger rapping days when it wasnt so serious.
I just did it for the LoVe and the fun of hearing myself say funny shit - like "Sheila" for instance lol
I did it all in fun, but Universal fell in LoVe with it lol. (pushed back til Spring tho lol)
I don't get that out of the TI's and Jeezy's.
Ya'll may do, but I don't man.
...but I do out of YOU all's music in our lil arena.
Nando had text me later on that day and was like "son, you listened to it?" sort of wondering what I was gonna think I guess cause Im "Marky" (crowd boo's) lol
I told'em like this, "son, ya'll can do NO WRONG in my book - all ya'll inspire me".
Im definitely a fan of all this YOUNG independent music thats circulating in our own arena.
We are keeping each other a float and we don't even know it.
All the Hate I get for being me, rapping, or just cuz Im 43 (post Wale) is crazy because all I do is what I do and thats make music thats cool to listen to and not take a certain way.
Its like dudes mad cuz I was born or some shit lol.
Idk, but to all ya'll guys/gals out there in this arena...Im a fan first!
Just know that the breakthrough is gonna come.
We build each other up, and break each other down.
Lemme know what you think...